When I was in high school, my friend Lloyd Tabb drove an honest to goodness jalopy. It was a fading orange colored Datsun station wagon. The purple tinting on the windows was bubbled and curling up on the edges. The hood was decorated with a painting of a giant blue bat.
It was the ugliest car in the parking lot and the butt of many jokes. We all called it the "Bat Mobile". Having your own set of wheels at 16 years old is right up there with breathing, so why be picky, right?
I later learned that my friend's parents were wealthy and owned a plantation north of town. When he wanted a car, they said, "Okay, but you're going to have to work to earn the money to buy one."
That orange "Bat Mobile" became the most beautiful car at school because it was the reward of a young man's self-reliance. Could his parents have bought him a car? Of course. They wisely chose to give him integrity, work ethic, self respect and responsibility instead.
Today, Lloyd is a self-made man who owns an educational software company and gives back selflessly to young people. His success is a direct result of his self-reliance.
Give me a fish and I'll eat for a day. Teach me to fish and I'll eat for a lifetime.
When parents give their kids everything on a silver platter, they are not doing them any favors. Self-reliance is essential to success. If parents thwart their children's much-needed independence by doing everything for them, they are setting them up for failure.
Although I cannot bear to think of my children moving away from home, I am raising them to leave me. The better job we do as parents to make them self-reliant, the more empowered they will be to feel good about themselves and make responsible decisions. As a result, they must experience the consequences of their behavior: good, bad or ugly.
Responsibility = Freedom. Sounds contradictory, doesn't it? When you take responsibility for your feelings, your behavior, your attitude, your integrity, your goals and your future, you are in control of your life. You are free to create the life you desire.
People who put their lives in the hands of others are not only setting themselves up for disappointment, but they become self-appointed victims when they don't like what others do to them or with them.
You are capable, intelligent and powerful? You are in the driver's seat of your life and if you hold onto that wheel, you will determine the direction of your destiny. You also will determine your inner peace and happiness.
"The man who makes everything that leads to happiness depend upon himself, and not upon other men, has adopted the very best plan for living happily. This is the man of moderation, the man of manly character and of wisdom."--Plato.
I moved away from home at 18 years old and had to rely on myself for survival. I took a full-time job to support myself and pay my bills while I went to school. Thankfully, my grandparents generously paid for my college tuition and books so that I could obtain an education. I will always be grateful for their legacy.
As a young adult, I lived on salads, canned soup and macaroni & cheese. I remember floating checks, hoping that my paycheck would go in before my bills hit.
I drove a very used AMC Hornet hatchback, 3 speed stick shift car without air conditioning. I bought some clothes at Goodwill and went to the county health facility for my medical needs. Humility builds character.
I had to borrow $100
from my boyfriend to turn on the heat in my apartment my first cold winter. I
worked to pay back every penny to him. He must have thought I was a good credit
risk because he later married me! Now, 20 years later, his investment is still
paying off!
"If it's to be, it's up to me." In retrospect, I am grateful that
my parents didn't indulge my every need and want. I learned to stand on my own
two feet. My eventual career success was a direct result of my self-reliance.
Since I created my own reality, it made my success all the more
sweet.
The work ethic that I learned gave me the confidence to know that if I lost every dime and had to start over, I'd be fine. The only time that success comes before work in in the dictionary.
There are many keys to happiness, but self-reliance is absolutely the backbone for your success. What can you be doing now to practice and acquire self-reliance?
Susan Young
Fidelity National
Title
http://www.susanspeaks.com